Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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