Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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