I feel like I'm in dance class right now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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