Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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