I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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