Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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