dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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