an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
