I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
