Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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