My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We had sex on a dog bed..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
