we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
