i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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