Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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