I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
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Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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