I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
