i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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