the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize