She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
