Barsexuality is the new black.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
