I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
