you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
