I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
