So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Liz is crying about burritos again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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