yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize