another moral hangover. fuck.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
