She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
