Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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