I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
MIDGETS
????
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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