I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
