Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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