i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
