cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize