somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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