You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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