He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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