i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
