the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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