ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
