stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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