The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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