You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
