she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize