Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
