Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
