haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i will never coherently bang her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
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She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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