I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
