he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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