pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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