mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize