Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
