dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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