So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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