someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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