I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize